Self Growth: Adulthood

Staff Gathering 2025

As I grow older, everything begins to change. Life moves differently, responsibilities increase, and perspectives shift in ways I never fully understood when I was younger. But even so, my inner child is still within me—I believe everyone carries that part of themselves, no matter how old they become.

There are moments when I find myself questioning what it truly means to be an adult. I even turned to a close friend to ask about what “being grown up” really feels like, hoping to understand it a little better. In the end, adulthood seems less like a clear destination and more like an ongoing process of learning, adapting, and trying to make sense of everything as it unfolds.

By Ellia

how do i feel...

Childhood memories teach you about joy and how playful you can be. As children, we don’t really worry about what life will be like as adults—we simply live in the moment. For me, my childhood was not fully filled in the way I might have wished due to my family’s circumstances, but I still see it as a valuable experience. I wasn’t born with a silver spoon, and that reality shaped how I see life.

Having what I consider an average or “just enough” level of academic performance also brought a certain pressure during my school years. At one point, I genuinely felt that the only path available to me was working as a café waiter in town. 😅 My results were nothing to be proud of, and instead of praise, I often only heard complaints and worries from others. However, that pressure slowly pushed me to challenge myself and move to the next level in life. I began to experience the working world, financial struggles, living away from my family, just getting by, meeting a first love that would eventually disappoint me, as well as friendships, betrayal, deception, and many other life experiences.

Growing up is not necessarily a bad thing. But in many ways, being a child is far more joyful than being an adult who still behaves childishly. In the end, how we grow and learn from these experiences plays a big role in shaping the direction of our lives.

 

By Seyno

When I was a kid, I couldn’t wait to grow up. I imagined adulthood as freedom, making my own decision, doing what I wanted, becoming someone strong and independent. I thought it would feel exciting, empowering, maybe even easy. I was wrong. but not entirely. It is powerful, but it’s also heavy. Much challenging than I ever expected.

 Growth, for me, feels like a quiet ache that never really goes away. It started when I lost my dad. That was the first time I realized that growing up didn’t just mean getting older, it meant facing real, irreversible loss. It meant learning how to keep going even when your heart is broken. That kind of growth doesn't feel exciting. It feels like learning to breathe underwater.

 Later, I had to move to another state for studies, then for work. That’s what I thought growing up was supposed to look like: chasing a future, building a life. But leaving meant leaving behind my parents, our home, the familiar warmth of ordinary days. Now, every time I visit, I see them growing older. I notice the little changes: the way they move slower, how they fall asleep earlier, the silent pauses in their voices. And each time I leave home again, it feels like I’m carrying guilty in my suitcase.

 There’s also the loneliness. The kind that creeps in when you're too busy to realise. Working two, sometimes three jobs a day, I barely have time to feel anything. But when the silence hits, it hits hard. I see my friends getting married, starting families, building lives I only witness through social media. I celebrate with them from afar, while wondering when or if my time will come or death will hug me first.

 And then there’s the grief of losing a friend. That one still stings. It reminded me how fragile life is, how quickly someone can become a memory. Growth sometimes feels like surviving when others don’t, and that comes with a grief no one talks about. You smile, you keep going, but deep down something’s missing.

 Festive seasons are the hardest. I rarely go home. The Christmas holidays used to be my favorite time of year, warm lights, laughter, comforting food. Now they feel like a reminder of what I miss. Of how much distance has changed me.

 So how does growth feel for me now? It feels like being tired but still standing. Like holding joy and sorrow in the same breath. Grateful for what I have and crying for what I’ve lost. It’s not the kind of growth I dreamed of as a kid, but it’s real. And somehow, despite the messiness, it’s made me become more human.